so says i

the new kings of leon "only by the night" is on my current repeat list. i feel awfully stretched when i think about listening to the thousands of songs on my ipod and many more that are floating around in the musical world that i have not heard. sometimes i feel like i fake when i talk about music because my ability to play it is severely lacking and so then i feel as though i don't have a concrete grip on the stuff. it's not necessarily the ability to play, i have learned, but appreciation that matters. sometimes i am too restricted to what i like thus i critique what i don't like harshly and i know this. will i change? i am hoping so. when i think about having a career after university my bones start to shake at the idea of having to talk about all the things i love in a way so i can be paid somewhat well and actually know what i am talking about. that's mostly why i feel like a fake because i don't know if i can write about any of it.
(i feel the same way about fashion.)


i think if my mom and i switched places in life she would be happier. born in the fifties, growing up in the sixties and seventies, she felt like an outsider in a time when even marginalized people were vocal. it's as if she couldn't find a spot in an official or unofficial world. in the world i am growing up she would flourish because she could still have that spot not coincided with either side and sit pleasantly in her own little world. also what progress came out of her generation is present now and i don't think she wanted to be a part in the progression but rather the product.



currently listening to: kings of leon- manhattan