i walked out today. i sat in those uncomfortable office chairs until someone looked at me and said, "sarah, do you know about friday?" i did and i said, "on that note, i quit."
where in the hell do i begin? i don't want this to be a rant about how much i hated my job because i did and everyone knew that but rather what should be known is the loss i felt and how i am going gain it all back. i wrote them the most beautifully scathing letter i have ever written in my life; even when i worked at chapters i was never this awful. i'm a brat and i am sure that is what they will think of me for the few seconds i am thought of there.
i lost what i loved so much and how, even though i am cynical and have a sharp realism to my perspective, i am happy and carefree and fuck the man! most times. reading felt like work, work felt like hell, people felt like glimpses into a life i was not privy to anymore and i resented it. i retreated, not unlike what i am known to do, but in a way that was much more private from not only everyone else but to me as well. not too long ago someone called me a robot and i seriously agreed with them because, yes, in this moment, at this particular wretched time in my life, i am a robot.
instead of rehashing all the awful bits of the last two months, i'd really rather focus on what is ahead: the dead weather, the walkmen, yeah yeah yeahs, appointments, reading and lounging and exercising and full days of writing. what is ahead for me is my summer, finally.
look for:
the dead weather concert review
my current music obsession list (long time comin'!)
the walkmen (if i remember that night..)
NY-fucking-C!
happiness-- general happiness with life.
