i am conducting a social experiment of sorts. i have no real interest in it unless for the sake of research. it's interesting thus far.
also, i have applied for two writing jobs. maybe talking about them jinxes it but i hope not. i do believe in jinxes. often if i think about something coming true i find that it doesn't. is it self-sabotage? do i crave that disappointment because i will it to come true, though it ultimately won't? it sounds silly, i know, but disappointment has littered my life for as long as i have been alive. i am not whining about it, nor am i saying i am content with disappointment, i am merely suggesting that it happens that way with me. if i send something out in the universe and forget about it, continuing on with my life, i find it, whatever it is, surprises me. i have argued with various individuals about trying really hard to get something or letting it happen naturally. i am on the fence, finding both ways applicable. try hard to find or obtain something but allow it to naturally come about when informing you.
now i think it is spaghetti and movie watching time. weather like this makes me want to curl up with a book and a movie. i've already read so much today, i think it's time to turn to cinema.
