i am surrounded around shopping bags and books. i bought three pairs of shoes today. i bought the most beautiful and sexy heels i have ever seen. they are magnificent. of love and others demons, the destruction of the european jews and an eyewitness travel guide to europe are all piled up on my makeshift night stand/cd tower. i strutted into a clean, luxurious office reception today with retro looking heels and i even wore a slip under my dress. i never slips. my patent croc bag that i borrowed from my sister made me look extra chic professional. i interviewed for a real job. the man sitting beside me in the lobby was talking about stocks and was the most indignant, rude bastard i had ever heard. if i get this job, i suppose i will be surrounded around those types. it made me slightly sick. i wanted to scream at him that stocks are fucking worthless and who gives a shit about whatever the fuck financial situation that has your panties in a twist. but i scrolled through the messages on my phone and tried to tune him out. he really fired me up.
yesterday was so surreal. today is surreal too. the last essay i wrote in my exam was shit and i did not go out with guns a-blazin' in a glorious fashion. it was incoherent and quite possibly horrible. i ended it the way i started it all ha ha. everything went by really quickly with the same flow i have been in for years. i am now out of that flow. i have thought about registering for the second world war class to upgrade the current mark i have in that course. it was a "since i will be here anyway..." kind of reason and it feels legitimate. no going backsies. it's done.
my room is a disaster. it needs to be cleaned but i am exhausted. it's social time after social time for the next few days so i hope i do get this job because my wallet will feel extra light if not. i have barely had time to rest and process that come september i am not going back to school, i no longer have to write an essay for a grade, no more cramped writing in an exam booklet or zoning out in particularly useless lectures that i am paying for. speaking of, i will start paying back all that back in six months.
ugh.
growing up sucks sometimes.
but,
it's really nice too.
