i am chained to computers.
working is an entirely different kind of beast when it's in an office environment. on my first day they showed us where the hoards of office supplies are kept and i have been sneaking things from that cabinet to my desk ever since. they have really nice pens. it's been two weeks and yet it feels like my four months have come and gone. i am a specialist. i know it's just a title and titles are meaningless but it means something entirely different now. i don't even feel like a specialist.
i don't write as much anymore. i don't write at all actually. i edit things, move words around, pick up a little french, spin in my chair and go home. don't get me wrong, i like what i do but, i feel wholly wrapped up in everything except the creativity i am trying cultivate. it sounds pretentious, i know, and part of me is like that. part of me is that stupid hipster with the arsenal of obtuse words. SEE. how this got turned around to hipsters, i don't know. i need a good stream of consciousness session to get my mind flowing. usually i am righteously angry or miserable when i do those but there can always be a third choice.
victoria park is so lovely. i forget why i stopped going.
