stormy daze. perhaps not so much anymore but prior to, woooo. slick. i can't even count the number of drinks on both my hands. tequila orange juice. swedish berry. tequila orange juice x three. porn star. HEY let's do amaretto shots. tequila orange juice. names of drinks are so peculiar and awkward. i don't want a porn star. i want the sickly sweet flavoured purple drink with 7up or the shot version of said drink. we shall call you untitled. but seriously. seriously? where? who? when? why not?! i often wonder, which usually gets me into trouble, about certain absent things in my life that some require to maintain normalcy. being alone is too too much for them. but where is your man friend? this all sounds too much like the jungle book when bagheera is talking to various other animals in the jungle. he refers to mowgli as man cub. isn't that what all man friends are anyway? men cubs?
but seriously. seriously?! i don't want to sound indignant or bitter. this is not bitter street. take a slight right at the stairs to get to that place. if you tell someone you're fine, they don't believe you. belief is tricky. i need a push comes to shove situation for belief to truly kick in. even then i suppose i will caution on the side of disbelief. i don't really need your belief in my solid foundation, it's just the questioning that needs to stop. i don't trust people who cannot or do not question their surroundings. i probably should have prefaced with that. in this situation, however, questions are not needed after many other occasions of questioning. alone is an odd word. i will say i am content. after the madness that was YOU (again!) over the past few months, i am ready to take a breather. breathe in. breathe deep. very deep. i read content as CON-TENT, as in text for a news item or global email. why are taking over my life, work?
hmm.
i have organized my space today. my soul needs a little adjustment but i am afraid that tweaking it in a certain direction may be permanently crippling. fear is probably the most crippling of all.
sarah, suck it up and get that tattoo!
