it is july.
IT is july.
it IS july.
IT IS JULY.
july.

i just hung up my degree. i took down a free tokyo police club poster i got at their secret show two years ago. the design was really the best part. my degree is snug inside a cheap michael's frame because my sister was mortified by the thought of me taping it up. it's bent anyway so what's the difference? it is above my monet calendar, the frame all bronzed and glistening. it is the most expensive piece of paper i own. how is it already july? my supposed work contract is until september third, which means i am supposedly halfway done. it is supposed because there are possibilities. a month and a half ago, anyway, there were possibilities. the words "extended contract", "one year", "sick days, vacation, benefits" and "salary negotiations" were thrown at me. we were in the courtyard in front of the old building. i wore my hair straight and couldn't stop playing with it. time has flown by so quickly that i think, "perhaps i can really do this?!" with the rate at which i keep spending my money, i might have to. but there comes a moment in one's life when you need to seriously re-evaluate your surroundings and think, "is this where i want to be?" in truth, no. i put all my chips down for ryerson and it didn't happen. the ryerson bit doesn't bug so much as the plan to move to toronto in september. with or without school, that is where i was supposed to go. september fast approaches and my body aches for a new bed, couch and an apartment in the annex. i want a courtyard but not in front of that old building.

practicality vs. passion
reality vs. dreams

this really sounds like the article i should have written for blueprint. caught in the middle of wanting to grow up but not exactly knowing how. i need the universe to kick me in the face.

it's independence day. universe, you are subtle.