i came to a startling realization today: i don't mind kitchener-waterloo. i was walking down king street today, the wind blustering around me, and i was somehow kind of content. i walked around campus and it felt eerily the same, familiar and perfect. if i get into grad school at the good ol' wlu, i think i would be okay with that. despite the myriad of rantings four years ago about how much i hated it, i love it now. i love so much i wrote about it here. i have always been a big city kind of girl but i have my familiars here. i have my movie theatre, bubble tea with my crew, moose, stories on every corner of uptown that make my knees weak from laughing so much over them. for grad school, i could stay. i could nestle into a sweet little apartment in uptown and curl up in my giant new bed.

but toronto. oh toronto toronto toronto. i am young. that city is where i need to be.

it is all so different now. i never thought i would be sitting here thinking about what happened, what didn't happen and why it is all fading away. i shouldn't say never. boarded right up. but i suppose that was long ago. maybe i should open up one last time. i owe myself that.