why was there a christmas tree behind you? you walked away for so long but then you came back. you really came back. i tug on my sweater sleeves now, trying to imagine how these arms wrapped around you for such a long time. never ever ever. let this go. i remember sitting with my knees pulled into my chest, rocking back and forth, wondering why you did it. their faces turned green and the slit of red where their eyes once were shone through the pitch black of my now dark room. how could you?! their voices rang out. but softly, murmuring into my ear, you said that they knew nothing and you never wanted to be around them. but why was their christmas tree behind you?

i shook you. i jumped up and down, side to side and ran across this town trying to shake you. i erased you! and yet. you walked up to me, tapped me on the shoulder and here we are.