i could use my time productively but where's the fun in that? and by fun, i clearly mean zoning out in front of any kind of screen. i have half a dozen started books and magazines sitting on my nightstand and here i sit. it's november. it has been six months since the last time i actually did nothing. i spent two beautiful weeks after school ended lazing around in my pajamas and watching my soap on the tube at three in the afternoon. i don't necessarily want to go back to that but there is just something else that i want. my sister told me that if you daydream often, you will be disappointed by what is presented to you in reality. i didn't have the heart to agree with her because it's true. but why should we stop daydreaming?
i made a list in the car this morning of all the things i want for when i move out. i checked off tv, microwave, brand new couch, new bed, end tables, dining room table, new sheets, duvet and more. people i know are scrambling to find hand-me-downs of those things and i am making my boxing day shopping list for electronics and furniture. i want to buy a mac but i don't know if i should go laptop or desktop. do i need it? not necessarily. should i use it to help with potential work opportunities? i think you know the answer to that one. getting into college would be so easy. i'd have a decent set up and wouldn't be forced to throw myself at job postings. but. there's always a but. if i did land something decent, had enough in savings, got a nice apartment, then i would have my little life all set up. i'd be ready to go.
do you think that's daydreaming or planning? where is the line that makes them distinctive notions?
and then there's new york. there will always be new york. it's five days away and two of those days standing in my way are saturday and sunday, with monday and tuesday being my real hurdles. tomorrow i'll have redder hair and maybe i should think about dying my eyebrows. maybe? dark eyebrows look kind of nice with dark red hair.
i'm going back to my favourite bookstore, my favourite neighbourhoods, hell, my favourite place of all time. why does it have to be just five days?
