in one week i will be done my first semester of college. one week. between september and now the entire game changed. fuck. boy, did it ever! i'm not the same person i was when i started school and it took me ages to figure that out. i'm oblivious sometimes--not the best journalistic quality.
i've never truly had a mentor. in my mind i'm always been taught new things by christiane amanpour but, really now, it's me channeling christiane (poorly, i might add) and me telling myself what's up. but i found one. now he's gone. my one link to what 13 year-old me wanted the most in life and it's gone. nothing is worth doing, ever, unless it's challenging. truth! what is the point if you can just coast through life? i hate it. the one challenging part of my budding career was taken away and i can't get it back.
i sit here trying to piece together my october mistake. that's what i call it. i wore shorts then and they are too big and i wear smaller sized jeans with moccasins as the snow falls on me. funny. it isn't really funny but i'll laugh soon enough. my eyes want to close and it's only 6:30. i wanted to curl up with(!). but i won't.
i'll never get to put my arms around him
onwards to my third tea of the day. is it really friday? i don't believe you.
