yesterday was so anti-climatic. today i feel whoozy. since i still have two essays to write and two exams to complete, it doesn't feel like i am done my undergrad. the lecturing portion of it is over while there is still work yet to be done. it is over though, all of it. the years spent researching and writing and attending classes that did or did not contribute to my growing knowledge, the times spent sitting in uncomfortable lecture halls and classrooms, accepting the concourse as a legitimate place to hangout, debating whether or not i should get that pasta salad at second cup and a myriad of other similar day-t0-day occurrences are over. i will miss making my schedule the most. my desk would be filled with sticky notes of classes i wanted to take. i didn't even take half of the ones i wanted. i remember looking through my sister's undergrad calendar when i was in grade ten and i said i would take the hamlet class. i did. it was fantastic and awful. it was just nice to meticulously plan my year. it was exciting too to have that much control over how and what i learned on a daily basis. american history was a poor choice but i still learned something. i am never good at filling out those evaluations for profs. the one question i always put as a seven, or strongly agree, is if the course contributed to my learning. of course it did! trick question.
today i have spent the majority of my time horizontal, trying to figure out why my brain and the weather changes cannot coexist peacefully. dull aches and spins. what am i, drunk or something? not even close. i am two episodes away from completing the first season of true blood and then they go and take it off the internet because of infringement. goddamnit.
after today i am unemployed. so if you know of a job i could be great at then i think you should tell me about it. it's april first and i still haven't heard anything from ryerson. i have been patient for awhile now but knowing that rejection letters have been going out or received by march fifteenth makes me pretty fucking antsy. JUST TELL ME. goddamnit. i feel as if like ryerson, like a crush or something, and they may want me but how can i be sure? it's cranberries all over again.
also i feel the need to discuss the beef i have with the features section of a newspaper i am ashamed to have written for. seriously, a featured checklist of things to do in university? i didn't know that a sexual fantasy about your prof was right up there with going to visit a prof during office hours. now would it be to discuss said sexual fantasy or how you had a fling with the TA and you did a walk of shame home from it? WHAT THE FUCK. my mind hurts probably because of this.
