paris. las vegas.
to get to these places i need a concrete offer of a year contract with benefits, sick days and two weeks vacation. those are the only places i see in my future, so far. after a year. i don't know. a year can go by so quickly. where the hell have the last four gone? i see what i have done but they are in a crystal ball. the memories are so foggy and they come in and out; bits and pieces of my young adult self transitioning into adult sarah are trapped in that ball.

and yet,
something feels a bit off. stability is nice but my stomach turns at the thought of this nineteen floor, swipe card wielding worker bee i have become. next year maybe grad school. maybe ryerson won't be such an asshole and actually consider me. maybe it'll be brooklyn. all i know is i am twenty-one and not ready to feel twenty-five, twenty-six or twenty-seven. i am young and rad and the entire world is at my feet. please support that. please.

today feels like an albert hammond jr, little joy kind of day. it's funny how two of the five strokes managed to produce summery, beachy albums while one was in new york and the other in los angeles. i hope they don't disappoint in september. i have a funny feeling they might.
this is exactly what is important to me. why can you not see that?