you still don't get it.

why is it that when one thing happens to go right in one area of my life, something has to falter elsewhere? i need to learn perfect balance. perhaps there is no such thing as perfection but i need at least some kind of balance.

you still are not getting it!

i have a list of schools i love and dream about. they are on virtual post-it notes. it is a giant list by my standards. the money accompanying their application is too costly but possibly necessary. IT IS NECESSARY.

why do you not get it?

i am panicking. it is a quiet panic though, like i forgot an idea in an exam essay or didn't put perfume or deodorant on. but it is still palpable in the loudest of circumstances. should i stay or should i go? it will be trouble, either way.

i don't want you to get it anymore.
this is tipping into the negative scales now. i am not sure who will benefit from this change of heart.

you're making me making me making me making me making me making me miss care weep dig hide and have heart.
you bastard.